Sadly, I am not a joke teller. I would like to be, but can never seem to remember any…except the banana, banana, orange joke. I have, however, recently read two great jokes, which I’m sharing below with the understanding that once you read them, and laugh, you will leave your favorite joke (clean, please) so that my kids will continue to think I’m super cool when they grow tired of hearing the banana, banana, orange joke!
By email from Gram:
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services, when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: ‘Stop! Acts 2:38!’ (…Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins…)
The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.
As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar: ‘Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.’
‘Scripture?’ replied the burglar. ‘She said she had an Ax and Two 38’s!’
A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race appear?”
The mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children and then all mankind was made.”
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.
The father answered, “Many years ago there were apes, which evolved into monkeys, from which the human race evolved.”
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, “Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from apes?”
The mother answered, “Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family, and your father told you about his.”