Yep, I’m talking about the sandwich. And of course I’m serious. I don’t joke about peanut butter.
I’ve eaten many, many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches during my lifetime. And through the years I’ve learned some important, although often overlooked, dos and don’ts.
I know. Some of these may have you shaking your head saying, she ain’t right. In fact, you may already be shaking your head saying, that poor thing’s a few horse hairs shy of a broom. And yes, I am writing this post very late at night, but stick with me here.
No. 1 — DON’T go thinking you need fancy bread. Over-sized slices, bread with nuts and berries, overtly healthy bread. None of those belong on either side of peanut butter or jelly.
No. 2 — DON’T use cheap white bread. You may be wondering how your supposed to follow both no. 1 and no. 2, but it’s not that difficult. Just a nice innocent wheat bread. Pay enough that you get a bread that won’t dissolve upon contact with the jelly or rip apart at the touch of peanut butter, but not so much that the PB&J feel shy and lost between the slices.
No. 3 — DO buy the good peanut butter. Jiffy Crunchy…if you like to pay attention to the little details. Which you obviously do, because you are so sweetly still reading this post.
No. 4 — DO use more peanut butter than jelly. Preferably about a 60/40 ratio. Too much jelly and the delicate balance of the sandwich will be ruined. Too little and, well, it’s too little.
No. 5 — DO spread the peanut butter first. Because let’s be honest, a little peanut butter in the jelly jar is tolerable. A little jelly in the peanut butter jar is wrong.
No. 6 — DON’T try to take a shortcut by using that Goober stuff. Some may think it’s an acceptable form of PB&J. (I may or may not be married to one such person.) But when the two main ingredients are already mixed in one jar, no.s 3, 4 and 5 fly right out the window. And that’s not okay.
No. 7 — And finally, enjoy your perfect PB&J sandwich with a tall glass of cold milk.
As simple as that. Have a great weekend!